Life is worth living.

Hey guys, I bet this won’t be the Blogmas post you were expecting, but Welcome to Blogmas Day #8 here on Sunshine & Rain.

I am not going to fully label this as Blogmas, because today is going to be a different topic. It’s not holiday related, but it’s something I really need to say. I have to say this.

A few weeks ago, my cousin committed suicide.

I wish I could’ve known the hurt he was feeling. The pain or frustration or stress that pushed him so far, that made him end his own life. A decision that cannot be taken back.

I didn’t know him well, but when I found out about what happened I was in complete shock, and a wave of sadness and grief came over me.

I would have done anything to stop it.

19 is too young to die.

I wish I would have known it was gonna happen. I couldn’t and still can’t stop asking myself, “God knew it was going to happen so why didn’t he send someone to stop it? Why didn’t he send me?”

Because I would be there in a heartbeat.

The unfortunate thing is, those are questions that we don’t have the answer to. I ask myself over and over why God sees what’s going to happen and doesn’t send someone to stop it. But God works in mysterious ways, and what happened happened for a reason.

My heart still hurts so much. Because a precious life came to an end way too early, and he wasn’t the only one.

Every 40 seconds, someone takes their own life.

There is so much more ahead for all of these people, so much that they won’t get to see. God has a purpose and a perfect plan for everyone. He gave us each the lives we have for a reason.

I wish I could save them all. How I wish I could.

Every day, so many people make the decision to end their own life. And that breaks my heart to pieces. That’s the thing about me, I love people too much to let anyone do something like that.

I am so sick and tired of sitting around going about my own life, when there is someone out there hurting so badly right now. Multiple people. And I want to do something.

I can’t save everyone, which hurts so much, but I am not going to stop trying to save anyone I can. And I need others to stand up with me. Guys, we need to save these people.

Our tongues hold the power of life and death. That one rude comment you give, could be the one last thing that pushes someone to the point of death tonight.

But that one single compliment you give. That one random act of kindness like holding the door open or paying for their meal in the drivethrough. That could change their whole perspective. That could save their lives.

Please make someone feel like they matter, because they do matter and are loved more than they know. We should be training ourselves to treat every single person like they could be thinking about ending their own life that day. Because ya’know what?

They could.

And please, if you are hurting I am reaching out to tell you that you have to keep going. Jesus loves you more than you know and he has so many promises for you. Life will bring struggles and life will bring pain and hurt, but there is so much more ahead for you. Life will also bring memories, and smiles, and joy, and beauty. The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18 promises that. Keep pushing through.

You are beautiful no matter what anyone says or thinks.

You are loved beyond measure, and you are not forgotten.

Dear, I don’t know what exactly you’re facing or who you are, but please don’t do it. Please darling. Don’t give up. If you keep going, in the end you will look back and be so happy because it will be so worth it!

Please talk to me. I know what it feels like to have no motivation anymore. To feel empty, not understood by anyone at all, unseen, frustrated, stressed, unworthy, unheard, like you don’t matter to anyone. I know what grief is. Grief so deep it makes you want to puke. I know what hurt is. I know what its like to feel completely hopeless.

I deal with these things on a daily basis. But I am not going to give in, and I will not give up. You have just got to wipe your tears, and keep climbing this mountain like the strong person you are. I will keep going because there is an assignment on my life that I meant to live out and fulfill. You have that too. My life will be beautiful, and so will yours.

This is a safe place to talk, please send me an email on my contact page if you want someone to talk to. I don’t want you to feel alone, and I definitely don’t want to you to make the choice of ending your life when you have a promise of an entire beautiful life ahead of you.

Or if you’d feel more comfortable, you can speak with a Suicide prevention counselor anytime 24/7, by calling this number right here: 800-273-8255

Please don’t keep in your pain for yourself, please tell someone and get help.

Hon’, please, trust me. I know. It’s so, so hard. Life is tough, but so are you. You have to keep going. There is so much more that lies ahead, I promise there is.

The darkness of the night will end, and the sun will rise again.

Suicide is not the answer. I know how hopeless it feels. Like you need an escape, and have nowhere to turn. But Death is not the answer.

Jesus is your answer.

I have only been here for a handful of years, but I still know that life is worth living, and life is beautiful.

It makes me ache inside knowing that right this minute, someone is about to give up for good. And there may be no one there to stop it.

God promises that he will never forget you. He promises to always recklessly love you. Darling, he loves you so much. He holds you every day, and he watches over you through your journey.

You are not unloved. You are not forgotten. You are not useless. You are not weak. You are not pointless. Life is not pointless. Life, is beautiful.

There is so much more to come for you. So much more.

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives, haven’t happened yet. So many smiles and laughs and overwhelmingly joyful days that are still to come.

So hon’, please don’t do it.

No matter how painful, and frustrating.

No matter how stressful, or hopeless feeling,

No matter how dark.

There is still a promise from God that will forever remain.

Your life will be beautiful.

You have been created and put on this earth to do something that no other person has ever done before.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep going hon.

It’s a promise from God

Life is worth living.


22 thoughts on “Life is worth living.

  1. Hailey, I am so, so sorry to hear about your cousin. You are in my heart and my prayers.
    And yes, you are so right!! People are hurting so very bad, and they need help! Thank you for this post. If you’d like me to message you, I’ve already had this wonderful idea you might want to help me with!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This was beautiful❤️ I’m so sorry about your cousin, I’ll be praying for your family. I think all of us need to be reminded how beautiful life is, even those of us (like myself) who are not considering ending it. And yes, words truly are life or death, and I always wonder how many lives we’ve accidentally saved with a few kind actions. I totally feel like you too, I want to save everyone if I only could, and we can in some ways with kindness 😊 Anyways, I’ll definitely be saving this in my favorite posts area 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a girl who thought about committing suicide. Well I’m so glad I didn’t and I’m sooooooo sorry about your cousin if only I could have maybe had a word with him cause I know exactly how he felt. I know how the pain felt. I tried killing myself in fact but I stopped myself. And I thank Jesus for everything! I am so glad I found him!!

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Such a tragedy about your cousin, I feel so terrible for him. I’m truly sorry this happened. I have no words except that I agree with your post about how we treat people. Nobody knows what another person is going through. I wish I could’ve hugged your cousin before this happened. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hailey. I’m so so sorry about your cousin. My uncle committed suicide in 2016 and still to this day it has a lot of impact on me. every 40 seconds is crazy, horribly crazy. I can’t read this post without tearing up because its real. so so real and so horrible. You worded this amazingly 💛

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Oh Hailey, my thoughts are with you and your family. That is beyond tough. I can’t imagine what your poor cousin was going through at the time. As someone who has lived with depression for many years, I know the struggle. I’ve been stable and doing well for two years now but as a young teen, I struggled more than I could put in words. There was a lot of abuse in my family that I was affected by. I couldn’t even begin to explain it.

    As someone who has made attempts in the past, I know that it’s less of a choice and more of an act you feel is unavoidable. In my case, It was like there was a magnetic pull to the medicine cabinet. Only after my brush with death did I realise that I wanted to give life another shot, no matter the circumstances that had pulled me down. I knew in my heart that the reason I’d held on for so long was that the scales were balanced. There were too many reasons to stay earth side. One day though, I woke up without fear and that was when I sort of lost the battle. Today I attended a funeral for my great grandmother and I realised the fear of dying had come back. All I could think about was how grateful I am to have a future. I don’t want to be stuck in a dark wooden box six feet under the ground.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Thank you so much Maryam ❤️ And Wow. That is such an amazing story, thank you so much for sharing your point of view as someone who has also dealt with it. I am so glad that you are still here today with us, that makes me so happy that you kept going. I also actually recently attended the funeral of a close friends mother, and as they played a slideshow of photos and told stories of her life, it made me think how much I really want to have that in the end. A great story and plenty of memories and pictures to show it when my life does come to an end. Again I thank you so much Maryam ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Amen!
    You said exactly what someone needs to hear.
    I am so sorry about your cousin! I wish that you or someone could have been there to support him and help him through whatever he was going through.

    Thank you for sharing this! Your writing is truly inspirational.
    -Haley

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Hailey. This is beautiful. Honestly. I know there is someone out there who needs to read this, and you could not have worded this better for them. I am so sorry about your cousin, I can not imagine the pain and hurt you must be feeling, but I pray that you may feel God’s peace. Thank you so much for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m so sorry about your cousin. That is so hard.
    Thank you for writing this. It is so encouraging. As someone who struggled with depression for a while, this was what I needed to hear. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m so sorry about your cousin, that must be so hard for you and all of your family, prayers to all of you! 😘 Also, thank YOU for having the courage and freedom to write this! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I am so sorry about your cousin. Life is truly worth living. Really, just a small act of kindness can do so much. Just the words that we speak can bring so much difference. This was very touching. You couldn’t possibly have worded this better. I can really feel how you might have felt…yearning and angry why you weren’t there. can’t understand the ‘why’ people do this. Having someone like you to whom a person can talk during such times can be very helpful and the person might at least consider that he should not give up. This truly gives me the inspiration to help people as well as never give up on life as there are so many things left to unfold.

    Liked by 1 person

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