I lay on my back with my legs propped up on the back of the armchair, and let my head hang upside down at the front. I guess this is where I do my deepest and best thinking. Where I get my best ideas. Either this way or at 2 am while i’m in bed and trying to sleep but my brain wont shut up until I turn a light on and grab my notebook to scribble my “fantastic” ideas that i’m too afraid i’ll forget about if I wait til morning.
Do normal writers do this? I guess not. Because i’m not exactly normal.
Sounds of cooking and clanks of pots and the beep of the stove come from the kitchen. I like those sounds. They’re familiar. I like that about things, unfamiliar things give me butterflies. I don’t like that.
I tilt my head further back and look down, or should I say up, at the hardwood floor, but it gives me a headache so I pull back up and rest my head on the seat.
I stare at the poky patterned ceiling above me and while i’m thinking I trace the lines of the ceiling with my eyes. It’s like fidgeting, but just with your eyes. It helps me much more. I only do it when i’m in deep thought. Sometimes I get lost in there.
Do normal people do that? I don’t know.
I think about sunsets- ooh i like sunsets. yes. that’s a good thought.
I think about my day,
wondered where I put my blanket,
what chocolate would taste like with a pickle,
and about billions of faceless people who each had a completely different day from any other day ever experienced.
Ah. There it is. That deep pool of thought that you have to slowly slide into with the meaningless things first. But sometimes, the most meaningless things have the most meaning, don’t they?
I shift my gaze and begin to trace the puffy clouds out the window with my eyes.
7 billion people experienced this day differently.
Every day is a new day, and for everyone it will be one that no one has exactly experienced like they will.
someone got married.
someone broke up.
someone is crying.
someone is laughing.
someone had a baby.
someone lost a loved one.
someone is praying.
someone feels hurt.
someone is nervous.
someone is excited.
someone doesn’t know today is their last.
someone is angry.
someone is making a terrible decision.
someone is making a great one.
someone is happier than ever.
someone made a new friend.
someone lost an old one.
someone is being punished.
someone is being forgiven.
someone feels lost.
someone is having a birthday party.
someone climbed a tree.
someone is reading a book.
ate ice cream
got their drivers license
made a difference in someones life
and so much more beyond what I can imagine in just these few moments. But, I would sit here and go on forever if I could.
I think about that. So many people in this world doing and feeling so many different things, and sometimes we forget that we aren’t the only ones doing things. We aren’t the only ones in this world.
Car horns honking somewhere that I don’t hear, a lightning storm happening somewhere I can’t see, someone crying alone in their bedroom that I can’t comfort, someone being happy as ever that i’ve never met, someone in need that i’m not able to help right now.
7 billion people. 7 billion faces. 7 billion different experiences.
(just one of my staring-out-the-window thoughts that I couldn’t let go of, so here I am just word vomiting it all out. enjoy 😉 )
Life is a puzzle.
At the end of our life’s journey, we will be able to see the complete picture. We will look and see this big beautiful, masterpiece of a puzzle that in itself is completely unique from any other work of art in the world. We will look at this picture and look back on everything that’s happened in our life time, and so much more will make sense to why it happened/did not happen.
Every piece of this picture, good and not so good, we will see fits together beautifully, and I cannot wait to later in life feel that satisfaction.
In the meantime, in the middle of life, we are constantly struggling and stressing over things just not making sense. This just doesn’t work, this happened and you don’t know why, this doesn’t fit at all even how badly you wanted it to, and it becomes an entire mess of us all the sudden saying “oh well, that’s it. it’s completely hopeless, and nothing will come together so i’m done.”
We lack patience, and faith. Being patient in waiting seasons but rejoicing at the same time, because you have faith and trust that God’s promises for what he’s got in store for you are true.
We will sit stressing over trying to put these big ole puzzle pieces together all at once, and we can’t hear God saying “it’s not the right time for that piece right there yet, just wait awhile longer my dear,” “that piece is not even meant for you hon’, don’t stress over it” “I know you love that one, but it messes up the picture and it needs to be let go of” etc.
Sometimes in our picture, we are just left with an empty space. We try and foolishly fill this space without God and somehow end up with a piece that’s from a completely different puzzle! Imagine that just for a second, someone is putting together a puzzle and comes across an empty space and at the moment the right piece for it is nowhere to be found. So, this person decides they’re too impatient to wait for this unknown but perfect piece to come along, so instead they just go ahead and search for some random piece that is either too big, too small, or just a completely different color that is nowhere near fitting the picture. Does that not sound silly? Do you think that at the end of our journey it will be satisfactory to look back and see this big jumbled mess of a picture that was put together, simply because we were too impatient for the right pieces?
We as humans can’t stand having empty spaces. Yes, it can be painful, and stressful, and sometimes scary, but God promises that in time, and in his own flawlessly perfect timing, he will bring us each of these mysterious but beyond perfect pieces to fit into our picture.
Some pieces you’ll have to throw out, even though it hurts. Some pieces you’ll lose and may never find again, and you’ll painfully wonder what happened to them. And some pieces will fit and stay forever.
When I talk about puzzle ‘pieces’, it can be anything from passions, people, pain, happiness, places, lessons, experiences, etc. In time, pieces will continue to be delivered by God, and be put in the puzzle.
Pieces, will come and go.
Some pieces you receive, fit nowhere in the puzzle at the moment and you have no idea what in the world you’re supposed to do with it! But later, when other pieces keep coming along, you will see that every piece will have a place, and it all will fit together.
We get so stressed over trying to hurry and put this puzzle together all at once, and get so upset when every time we try and fix it, it over and over again just falls apart and we don’t know why. We have a longing for some things that either we just aren’t ready for, aren’t meant for us, or it isn’t the right time for it.
When it doesn’t come together, it starts to feel hopeless. But remember that God is the only one who is truly in control of this puzzle of life. Of course he gives us choices, but in the end the picture will come out exactly as he had planned it to. And it will be beautiful.
God gives pieces, and he takes away pieces, but it all happens for a reason, and for the greater good. It gets confusing, and it will be that way all throughout life, but God never forgets to put the people in your life that are meant to be there, or the experiences you are meant to go through, or the places you are meant to see. God is forever in control of your puzzle, and he knows what he’s doing.
So we need to learn to just trust him, no matter how confusing, or hopeless, or hurtful a situation is. Because he will bring the pieces we need to grow, the pieces needed to make us become who we are meant to be, the pieces that will bring us both sorrow and joy, and altogether the pieces that will bring us a life that it beautiful, and joyous, and fully lived. And he will will bring it all at the right time.
So hang in there darling, and just trust that in a waiting season, God is doing something extraordinary, and he is working on making that next beautiful piece for your picture.
And loves, I myself am happy to say that after awhile of waiting, I can see more of my own beautiful picture, coming together.
Hiya hiya and happy Monday my lovely little jelly beans! Thanks a bunch for clicking on this post, and I hope you have been having a wonderful day 😉 Today has definitely been a beautiful one for me! Mondays are normally a day to relax and take time for myself or just for random things that need to get done, since Mondays are a day off of school for us. So yep yep, so far today has been a great one!
Anyways, I am very happy to be back with another post for y’all, and hey, this time its a fashion themed one! *YAY*
I recently took a trip last week to do some Spring clothing shopping with my Mama, and I found SOoOOoOOOOOoo much that I couldn’t not have in my Spring/Summer 2021 wardrobe! Every piece featured in this post I got from Plato’s closet, which is now my absolute favorite clothing store because gosh they are amazing. Everything was a pretty great price, (everything I got ranged between just $4-$10!) and I got quite a bit in just this one trip! I will hopefully be going back for another trip very soon, but I thought it’d be lots of fun to share this adorable clothing haul with you guys!
I am so happy with what I got, and I am getting so antsy for Spring/Summer because I am so excited to wear these pieces.
Have you gone shopping yet for the warm seasons ahead? What’s your favorite clothing store? ;D (alrighty here we go! I will give information on each piece of clothing like brand, cost, etc.)
Hello there and good Sunday morning to you lovely people! I am very excited to be bringing to you Igniting Inspiration Week 18! I always love putting together these posts as a good close to the week past, and a celebration for the new week ahead. This past week has been a beautiful one for me, and there were some pretty special moments. I’d like to try something new on this series and share with you guys a little bit of how my week has been 😉
This week seemed to strangely go by pretty quickly. Before I knew it I realized that the next day was Friday and the weekend was almost here again! Quite a bit happened, as always there were highs and there were lows, but I am grateful beyond anything for another beautiful week God gave me the opportunity to experience and live out.
I had a great Valentines Day! Haha it was really great, even though nothing really big and special happened, and this year I had 4 different Valentines you could say! 1. Was my Daddy (he’s the main one every year, he got me a sweet card and wrote in it 😉 ) 2. I mean Jesus, of course 3. My Doggo, Tank, because I asked him… i mean i think he said yes… and 4. Was my bestie, Livy! We agreed to be Gal-entines because we’re lonely 🤣 So yeah, overall Valentines Day was great.
Monday, I watched 10 Cloverfield Lane with my sister and parents. That’s actually all I remember from Monday, but it was a great movie and I am very excited about the fact that there’s supposed to be another Cloverfield movie being made.
(I don’t remember anything from Tuesday, I need to get better at remembering to write these things down)
On Wednesday night I joined a youth group get-together, which I am so happy I decided to attend. It was only my second time visiting this youth group, and the whole night was really great. (we are exploring other churches right now, which I haven’t said anything about on here before, but we have been looking for a new place to call home 🙂 ) I met a couple of new people who I hope are becoming good friends of mine now, we played some great games, had a wonderful short sermon, and we basically just cracked up and goofed around the whole time. It was nice meeting some new people, I haven’t gotten the chance to meet some new friends in such a long time. I actually can’t wait for the next youth get-together, I really enjoyed it!
Thursday, I decided to pull up my big girl pants and save and set free what looked like a baby stink bug. (i am normally terrified of bugs and i’m trying so hard to get over it) I managed to catch it into a cup, cover it, and release it outside. I think that should count as a brave moment this week 😂
Friday, ahhh I think this day was the highlight of my week, even though it was a mix of highs and lows. The day started off smoothly, but later started going downhill from there. I got pretty upset and worked up over many things and let my emotions take over which effected other people too. I eventually lost any motivation to finish what needed done that day and lost all hope of it still turning out as a good day. It got really bad. But, I guess my sweet Mama understood that I was just upset and didn’t mean to make anyone else’s day harder. I really needed a break and just something to enjoy, and that’s what she gave me. She took me out to go Spring clothing shopping at Plato’s Closet, which she had talked about doing sometime before. We were there for awhile, but she didn’t seem to mind. We found some really great things and I am very happy with my new additions to my Spring 2021 wardrobe! (be on the lookout this week for a clothing haul post!) It was alot of fun taking a shopping trip like that, I haven’t gone clothes shopping in awhile. Afterwards Mama took me out to eat at Rusty Taco, where I got some delcious BBQ brisket nachos. (my fave) I had an amazing time with my Mama and I made sure to thank her for taking me out, because I had a terrible attitude that day and really didn’t deserve it. While we were driving to Plato’s Closet earlier that evening, there was the most beautiful sunset I have surely ever seen. The sun was glowing golden orange setting low on the horizon, the clouds covering the top to where just to golden bottom was shining through, and the sky splashed with pinks, and blues, and oranges, and yellows. It really reminded me that no matter how difficult or even hopelessly terrible a day or something may seem, the sun with always shine again. There is still happiness and joy and hope to be found. Just that small act of kindess from my Mama, made the entire day wonderful. Ain’t nobody got a greater, more lovely Mama than me. Love you Mama 😘
And Saturday, in the morning had a beautiful try-on fashion show for my sister with all the new clothes I got! I am quite excited to start wearing all my adorable clothes, if only this freezing snowy weather would go away now 😦
Wow I very much enjoy sharing even those small moments from my week! I hope you enjoyed reading about it, what were some special moments from your week? 🙂 I’d love to hear all about it! Welp here we have come to the middle where I share some of my favorite quotes with you! These quotes of encouragement really spoke to my heart this week, and I hope they do the same for you! Please enjoy xD
*disclaimer: none of the images/quotes displayed below are my own. all credits to Pinterest*
Which little bit of encouragement was your favorite? I find all of those so inspiring and uplifting, and discovering all those simple quotes make me so very happy.
Now, I guess you could say this is the grand finale haha! I know you guys love the MEMEs as much as I do, Igniting Inspiration thrives off of them! xD I cracked up when I found these, and my goal is to make you laugh too! I guess the laughs add a little extra spark of joy to these posts, and hopefully to your whole week!
Alrighty, I am going to bid my farewells right here so you can go ahead and try your hardest not to laugh at these (i DARE you not to laugh mwahaha)
Well, thank you so much for checking out the latest here on Sunshine & Rain! I hope that you enjoyed this post, and if you aren’t already then be sure to Subscribe to the blog by email so that you don’t miss out on any future posts! YOU GUYS WE ARE NOW AT OVER 200 FOLLOWERS! Ahh, i can’t believe how much this blog has been growing recently, even though 200 can seem pretty small, I appreciate all of you more than words can say. I am sending much love to all of you, have an amazing day my lovely little Jelly Beans! 😉
Hiya hiya, my beautiful jelly beans! I hope you are doin alright this lovely day 😉 And Welcome to the first post of 2021 here on Sunshine & Rain!! xD
Ahhh haha, it feels really great to be back. Not sure if anybody noticed, but I recently took a break from blogging this month (until now) so I could really take time to set some things up for the New Year, and take some much needed time for myself.
BUT. I AM BACK. AND I FREAKIN MISSED YOU.
So yeah like HAPPY 2021!
I thought that for my first post of this year, I should do a little reflection of the year passed, and some Goals for the year ahead. I’m calling my hopes for this year my goals and resolutions because some of these are things that I would just really like to do, but most of these are things that I am really going to commit to. Its a mix of both.
This new year, is for new things. I know that all the chaos of 2020 isn’t going to just magically disappear because the clock struck 12 on the night of December 31st, but this year is going to be what we make it. We make our life what it is and we have the power to live fully and joyfully. I left behind and lost many things this past year, things that absolutely shattered my heart, but I feel that its time to move on from that. Of course i’m not saying i’m going to just forget it all, but i’m going to use the struggles and hurt of this past year and the lessons it taught me for the better. I think we all should, don’t you? 🙂
The world we live in today is so crazy, but we have the power to keep our eyes not on the storm but on Jesus. All things happen for a reason, and God promises that all that happens is for the greater good. It’s for our good. People you love turn their backs and walk away and cause excruciating hurt, but I know that there is a reason God lets it happen. The world is complete madness but I know that God is still in control of everything. We lose what or even who we love and it shatters our hearts, but I know that there is a reason. This past year there was so much chaos, and I am positive that there is still more to come, but God’s hand has been in everything we have experienced so far if you can look back and see. All the heartbreak and fear and madness of this past year, brought so many more people back to God, and brought people to want to know God! There was a reason for everything you and I went through this year, and God isn’t finished with his work yet. You know why? Because we woke up this morning. We made it to this place that neither of us even imagined we would be.
That was something I realized just a few days ago, in the morning as I sat there eating my cereal and looking out the window, these words just came upon my heart and into my mind. It was what I like to call my beautiful realization.
The words were, “I am here.”
These words brought such beauty and I realized what they meant.
I made it here. I never thought I would ever go through this amount of hurt and I thought I would never be happy again and everything felt too hopeless. But guess what. I made it.
I am here.
I never thought i’d see the light at the end of the tunnel. I never thought I could make it through. In the middle of my chaos I always think that I am stuck forever and it’s hopeless. But guess what? I made it, and you did too.
In every season there is a restoration in Joy coming. There is a restoration in hope and strength.
I am here and I get to live this beautiful life today. And so do you.
I look back to my past self, just from a year ago and think “Oh how unprepared and oblivious to whats coming she is.”
But I also think “Oh how oblivious she is to what she’s gonna get through.” Past me never expected any of what came that year, but I got through it and I grew through it.
Just the fact that I am here, is incredible to me. This beautiful life is a gift, and look, we are still here living it.
We lose things all throughout life. Things that we hold so dearly that when we lose them we feel that we lose everything. But hon, in the end of each season there is always a promise of light. There is always a promise of restoration, and there is always a promise of something better.
What’s coming is better than whats gone.
God promises that he never once let go of us, and he knows our heart. Honey my realization was that when nobody else truly gets it. when nobody else truly understands, He does. Hon’ He knows. I promise, and He promises. He knows and feels your heartbreak. He knows your most painful memories, and your most joyful moments. He knows you hearts desires, and your most hopeful dreams that you so happily daydream about.
Honey he will fulfill the the greatest desires of you heart and even more, as long as you cling to him. You are His everything, and He wants to be your everything.
Heartbreak hurts but heartbreak brings growth. When there is a season of waiting, a season of hurt, a season of confusion, fear, a season filled with tears. That my friend. That means God is doing something extraordinary. God is doing something so big and unimaginable, that we wouldn’t believe Him if He told us right now. (Habbakkukk 1:5) So don’t be discouraged hon’, we are all fighting our own storm, and God is teaching us how to hear His voice through the pouring rain and crashing thunder and when everything feels lost and hopeless and you feel numb and you inside everything in you is just screaming….
there it is.
that gentle whisper. His voice that calls.
He is saying “I am here“
He was always here.
He is teaching us to grow, and He is teaching us to see the purpose through our pain. When all feels lost, when all you feel is heartbreak, when all you feel is that you lost everything you loved, there He is.
The exact reason God is letting this happen is unknown, but I know and believe with all my heart that He is using it all to draw us back to him. He is calling out over, and over to you, He wants you to hear His voice.
This past year, really led alot of people to God (including myself) because when all hope feels lost He is our hope.
Yesterday, today, and forever, He is our hope. And as life goes on, into a new year, we must continue to cling to Him.
2020, was definitely not my year. It was strange, and confusing, and painful, and chaotic, but it was all for the greater good as I look back on it now. Last year taught me many things. I experienced growth. I went through some painful & scary changes. I met new people, and some people drifted away. I learned what it means to be grateful, and so much more, but overall I learned to hold onto God. He has been so good, and he has been faithful. He keeps his promises, and he loves.
I look back on 2020 and see so much change, so much hurt, but so much growth. This past year I have learned so much more about life, myself, God, the world, etc. This past year also revealed to me so many things, that I really need to change.
So, here are the things that I am really focusing on here in 2021.
Self Care & Working towards my Dream Body
This year I want to focus alot more on keeping my body naturally healthy, and beautiful. When I say “dream body” I don’t mean I want to be the skinniest girl in the room who eats 0 carbs and 0 sugar and works out every single day. Sadly, that’s what today’s society normally makes a dream body seem like. But I mean I want to be the healthiest I can be. I want to make good choices for my body, and take care of it because my body is a gift. All bodies are beautiful, and deserve the right care. Clearing my skin, drinking more water, keeping my nails & hair healthy, and being active, are just a few examples of things I want to focus on this year for my body. I was not so great at taking care of myself last year, and that needs to change.
Confidence & Self Love
I want to work hard this year at becoming more confident in who I am, and truly loving myself. This has always been such a big struggle in my life, and I dream of the day that I have mastered not caring of others opinions about me and still loving myself. Confidence is always hard, and as I look back on last year… sadly I cannot remember a single moment when I was truly confident. Confidence is not “they will like me”, Confidence is “i’ll be fine if they don’t.” I want to work at walking with my head held high because I know who I am and who I belong to. (and, that would be Jesus by the way, which leads to my next resolution 😉 )
Closer Relationship with Jesus
I want to be the closest with God I have ever been this year, and have the strongest faith I have ever had. I want to spend more time with God and really put in my commitment to being with Him. I want Him to be my guide, and comfort through it all. This year I want to seek and find Him in everything, and He was & He is my everything.
Although difficult, the art of seeking and finding joy is quite beautiful. This year I want to train myself to see the light in all situations, even when it feels impossible. Positivity has never been something that I am truly great at, negativity often creeps in on me and just screws things up. I want to seek joy through the pain and find the positive side in all things. I want to seek joy in everything, and find the joy in everything, and I feel that this will really improve my life this year.
Being Genuine & Staying True
This year is a new chance to really stay true to my heart, and not be anything other than who I am made to be. I want to stand up for what I believe in no matter what others think. I want to use my voice for the better, and do what I can any chance I get. I want to be my own unique person and not have to change myself for others. I want to be genuine and pure in everything, and do what is right and good even if i’m afraid. All the time I have chances to speak up for something, but sometimes I just don’t. And that too should change.
Working Hard in my Education
Ahhh, school. The one thing that I never fail to struggle with. Haha, This year I want to put in my best effort into all my work. I want to learn all that I can, and no matter the struggle with it I want to stay committed and work hard. Last year was honestly a terrible school year for me. I was overwhelmed and ended up making some not so good decisions which brought guilt and even more stress & struggling that I couldn’t handle. So this year, schoolwork really needs to be something I put more dedication into.
Grow the Blog
Sunshine & Rain has really became a huge passion of mine this past year, and I want to continue to use that passion for good. This blog is my outlet into the world and this is how I can really spread things out there, so I want to make Sunshine & Rain the best it can be. This blog grew so much this past year in so many ways and I want that growth to continue! I want to spread light through my blog, and use it to make an impact on those around me. From remodeling the design to maybe even going self hosted/premium (which I actually have lots of questions about so feel free to shoot me a message and tell me anything about it because it would be greatly appreciated.) I want Sunshine & Rain to grow for the better. 😉
New Things & Practicing Bravery
This year I want to explore a little more, and be more open to trying new things. Last year I really held myself back from so many things and it actually started to drastically lower my self esteem. There are so many things that I wish I would have gone for, and didn’t because I was too afraid. Bravery is being afraid and showing up anyways. This year I want to pull up my big girl pants, put on my brave face, and do so much more.
After all, I haven’t seen everything yet, and perhaps, that is a beautiful thing. 🙂
– got that from a Morgan Harper Nicole quote, love ya Morgan xD
Being the Light
Kindness. Love. Compassion. I have always had a huge passion for all of these things, but sometimes I let my own emotions get in the way of showing these. I want to do better by showing anyone and everyone the light & love of Jesus, because we are called by Jesus to show these things. I love love, and I love loving people. And I really want to become better at showing that throughout daily life. Not just to the people in my home, or my close friends, but also to the people outside. Strangers need kindness and love and compassion too. 🙂
Finding my place
This is the year I want to work towards finding myself, and even creating who I am. I want to discover who I am made to be, and what I am able to do. I want to find where my heart belongs & where my soul fits. All of this will be a life long process, but this is where I officially start the journey.
All of these things I have talked about lead to my word of the year. I’ve never had a word of the year before, but this really summarizes everything i’m focusing on this year.
My 2021 word of the year, is Discovery.
I want to discover more about the world around me. I want to discover more through my faith & relationship with Jesus. I want to discover new people & friendships. I want to discover who I am destined to be by God. I want to discover my own unique voice and what i’ve been equipped with to make an impact. I want to continue to discover the lessons, and joy and beauty of life.