Hiya hiya, my beautiful jelly beans! I hope you are doin alright this lovely day 😉 And Welcome to the first post of 2021 here on Sunshine & Rain!! xD
Ahhh haha, it feels really great to be back. Not sure if anybody noticed, but I recently took a break from blogging this month (until now) so I could really take time to set some things up for the New Year, and take some much needed time for myself.
BUT. I AM BACK. AND I FREAKIN MISSED YOU.
So yeah like HAPPY 2021!
I thought that for my first post of this year, I should do a little reflection of the year passed, and some Goals for the year ahead. I’m calling my hopes for this year my goals and resolutions because some of these are things that I would just really like to do, but most of these are things that I am really going to commit to. Its a mix of both.
This new year, is for new things. I know that all the chaos of 2020 isn’t going to just magically disappear because the clock struck 12 on the night of December 31st, but this year is going to be what we make it. We make our life what it is and we have the power to live fully and joyfully. I left behind and lost many things this past year, things that absolutely shattered my heart, but I feel that its time to move on from that. Of course i’m not saying i’m going to just forget it all, but i’m going to use the struggles and hurt of this past year and the lessons it taught me for the better. I think we all should, don’t you? 🙂
The world we live in today is so crazy, but we have the power to keep our eyes not on the storm but on Jesus. All things happen for a reason, and God promises that all that happens is for the greater good. It’s for our good. People you love turn their backs and walk away and cause excruciating hurt, but I know that there is a reason God lets it happen. The world is complete madness but I know that God is still in control of everything. We lose what or even who we love and it shatters our hearts, but I know that there is a reason. This past year there was so much chaos, and I am positive that there is still more to come, but God’s hand has been in everything we have experienced so far if you can look back and see. All the heartbreak and fear and madness of this past year, brought so many more people back to God, and brought people to want to know God! There was a reason for everything you and I went through this year, and God isn’t finished with his work yet. You know why? Because we woke up this morning. We made it to this place that neither of us even imagined we would be.
That was something I realized just a few days ago, in the morning as I sat there eating my cereal and looking out the window, these words just came upon my heart and into my mind. It was what I like to call my beautiful realization.
The words were, “I am here.”
These words brought such beauty and I realized what they meant.
I made it here. I never thought I would ever go through this amount of hurt and I thought I would never be happy again and everything felt too hopeless. But guess what. I made it.
I am here.
I never thought i’d see the light at the end of the tunnel. I never thought I could make it through. In the middle of my chaos I always think that I am stuck forever and it’s hopeless. But guess what? I made it, and you did too.
In every season there is a restoration in Joy coming. There is a restoration in hope and strength.
I am here and I get to live this beautiful life today. And so do you.
I look back to my past self, just from a year ago and think “Oh how unprepared and oblivious to whats coming she is.”
But I also think “Oh how oblivious she is to what she’s gonna get through.” Past me never expected any of what came that year, but I got through it and I grew through it.
Just the fact that I am here, is incredible to me. This beautiful life is a gift, and look, we are still here living it.
We lose things all throughout life. Things that we hold so dearly that when we lose them we feel that we lose everything. But hon, in the end of each season there is always a promise of light. There is always a promise of restoration, and there is always a promise of something better.
What’s coming is better than whats gone.
God promises that he never once let go of us, and he knows our heart. Honey my realization was that when nobody else truly gets it. when nobody else truly understands, He does. Hon’ He knows. I promise, and He promises. He knows and feels your heartbreak. He knows your most painful memories, and your most joyful moments. He knows you hearts desires, and your most hopeful dreams that you so happily daydream about.
Honey he will fulfill the the greatest desires of you heart and even more, as long as you cling to him. You are His everything, and He wants to be your everything.
Heartbreak hurts but heartbreak brings growth. When there is a season of waiting, a season of hurt, a season of confusion, fear, a season filled with tears. That my friend. That means God is doing something extraordinary. God is doing something so big and unimaginable, that we wouldn’t believe Him if He told us right now. (Habbakkukk 1:5) So don’t be discouraged hon’, we are all fighting our own storm, and God is teaching us how to hear His voice through the pouring rain and crashing thunder and when everything feels lost and hopeless and you feel numb and you inside everything in you is just screaming….
there it is.
that gentle whisper. His voice that calls.
He is saying “I am here“
He was always here.
He is teaching us to grow, and He is teaching us to see the purpose through our pain. When all feels lost, when all you feel is heartbreak, when all you feel is that you lost everything you loved, there He is.
The exact reason God is letting this happen is unknown, but I know and believe with all my heart that He is using it all to draw us back to him. He is calling out over, and over to you, He wants you to hear His voice.
This past year, really led alot of people to God (including myself) because when all hope feels lost He is our hope.
Yesterday, today, and forever, He is our hope. And as life goes on, into a new year, we must continue to cling to Him.
2020, was definitely not my year. It was strange, and confusing, and painful, and chaotic, but it was all for the greater good as I look back on it now. Last year taught me many things. I experienced growth. I went through some painful & scary changes. I met new people, and some people drifted away. I learned what it means to be grateful, and so much more, but overall I learned to hold onto God. He has been so good, and he has been faithful. He keeps his promises, and he loves.
I look back on 2020 and see so much change, so much hurt, but so much growth. This past year I have learned so much more about life, myself, God, the world, etc. This past year also revealed to me so many things, that I really need to change.
So, here are the things that I am really focusing on here in 2021.
- Self Care & Working towards my Dream Body
This year I want to focus alot more on keeping my body naturally healthy, and beautiful. When I say “dream body” I don’t mean I want to be the skinniest girl in the room who eats 0 carbs and 0 sugar and works out every single day. Sadly, that’s what today’s society normally makes a dream body seem like. But I mean I want to be the healthiest I can be. I want to make good choices for my body, and take care of it because my body is a gift. All bodies are beautiful, and deserve the right care. Clearing my skin, drinking more water, keeping my nails & hair healthy, and being active, are just a few examples of things I want to focus on this year for my body. I was not so great at taking care of myself last year, and that needs to change.
- Confidence & Self Love
I want to work hard this year at becoming more confident in who I am, and truly loving myself. This has always been such a big struggle in my life, and I dream of the day that I have mastered not caring of others opinions about me and still loving myself. Confidence is always hard, and as I look back on last year… sadly I cannot remember a single moment when I was truly confident. Confidence is not “they will like me”, Confidence is “i’ll be fine if they don’t.” I want to work at walking with my head held high because I know who I am and who I belong to. (and, that would be Jesus by the way, which leads to my next resolution 😉 )
- Closer Relationship with Jesus
I want to be the closest with God I have ever been this year, and have the strongest faith I have ever had. I want to spend more time with God and really put in my commitment to being with Him. I want Him to be my guide, and comfort through it all. This year I want to seek and find Him in everything, and He was & He is my everything.
- Finding Joy
Although difficult, the art of seeking and finding joy is quite beautiful. This year I want to train myself to see the light in all situations, even when it feels impossible. Positivity has never been something that I am truly great at, negativity often creeps in on me and just screws things up. I want to seek joy through the pain and find the positive side in all things. I want to seek joy in everything, and find the joy in everything, and I feel that this will really improve my life this year.
- Being Genuine & Staying True
This year is a new chance to really stay true to my heart, and not be anything other than who I am made to be. I want to stand up for what I believe in no matter what others think. I want to use my voice for the better, and do what I can any chance I get. I want to be my own unique person and not have to change myself for others. I want to be genuine and pure in everything, and do what is right and good even if i’m afraid. All the time I have chances to speak up for something, but sometimes I just don’t. And that too should change.
- Working Hard in my Education
Ahhh, school. The one thing that I never fail to struggle with. Haha, This year I want to put in my best effort into all my work. I want to learn all that I can, and no matter the struggle with it I want to stay committed and work hard. Last year was honestly a terrible school year for me. I was overwhelmed and ended up making some not so good decisions which brought guilt and even more stress & struggling that I couldn’t handle. So this year, schoolwork really needs to be something I put more dedication into.
- Grow the Blog
Sunshine & Rain has really became a huge passion of mine this past year, and I want to continue to use that passion for good. This blog is my outlet into the world and this is how I can really spread things out there, so I want to make Sunshine & Rain the best it can be. This blog grew so much this past year in so many ways and I want that growth to continue! I want to spread light through my blog, and use it to make an impact on those around me. From remodeling the design to maybe even going self hosted/premium (which I actually have lots of questions about so feel free to shoot me a message and tell me anything about it because it would be greatly appreciated.) I want Sunshine & Rain to grow for the better. 😉
- New Things & Practicing Bravery
This year I want to explore a little more, and be more open to trying new things. Last year I really held myself back from so many things and it actually started to drastically lower my self esteem. There are so many things that I wish I would have gone for, and didn’t because I was too afraid. Bravery is being afraid and showing up anyways. This year I want to pull up my big girl pants, put on my brave face, and do so much more.
After all, I haven’t seen everything yet, and perhaps, that is a beautiful thing. 🙂
– got that from a Morgan Harper Nicole quote, love ya Morgan xD
- Being the Light
Kindness. Love. Compassion. I have always had a huge passion for all of these things, but sometimes I let my own emotions get in the way of showing these. I want to do better by showing anyone and everyone the light & love of Jesus, because we are called by Jesus to show these things. I love love, and I love loving people. And I really want to become better at showing that throughout daily life. Not just to the people in my home, or my close friends, but also to the people outside. Strangers need kindness and love and compassion too. 🙂
- Finding my place
This is the year I want to work towards finding myself, and even creating who I am. I want to discover who I am made to be, and what I am able to do. I want to find where my heart belongs & where my soul fits. All of this will be a life long process, but this is where I officially start the journey.
All of these things I have talked about lead to my word of the year. I’ve never had a word of the year before, but this really summarizes everything i’m focusing on this year.
My 2021 word of the year, is Discovery.
I want to discover more about the world around me. I want to discover more through my faith & relationship with Jesus. I want to discover new people & friendships. I want to discover who I am destined to be by God. I want to discover my own unique voice and what i’ve been equipped with to make an impact. I want to continue to discover the lessons, and joy and beauty of life.
This year is going to be my year,