I lay on my back with my legs propped up on the back of the armchair, and let my head hang upside down at the front. I guess this is where I do my deepest and best thinking. Where I get my best ideas. Either this way or at 2 am while i’m in bed […]
(just one of my staring-out-the-window thoughts that I couldn’t let go of, so here I am just word vomiting it all out. enjoy 😉 ) Life is a puzzle. At the end of our life’s journey, we will be able to see the complete picture. We will look and see this big beautiful, masterpiece of […]
The wind blowing through my hair, through my white silk dress. Almost lifting my bare feet from the ground.
The unknown was below.
I heard sounds of water crashing, but below the cold mist I could see nothing but darkness.
I stood there, afraid. I wanted to leap, I was curious.
I wanted to experience something different in life.
I wanted to feel free and brave, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t jump.
Then you walked up.
Slowly you walked, and stood right next to me, staring blankly into the deep darkness and unknown things that lurk below.
Then you looked up, straight into my eyes. And you smiled.
I smiled too.
We just stood, and listened to the terrifying sounds of the wind and waves.
Then you said you would jump with me.
You told me you’d jump, and stay right by my side through the dark.
I trusted you.
You made me happy.
Suddenly the curiosity grew, and the fear didn’t exist anymore.
We counted to 3
And we jumped.
We laughed and shouted as we leaped, and flew through the sky.
It felt as if I was floating. The adrenaline rushing through me.
Little did I know what was down there.
We both crashed into the waves, and we fell deep into the waters.
I opened my eyes.
You were right in front of me, nose just inches away from mine. Staring deep into my eyes, smiling that big smile of yours.
I giggled, and managed not to choke.
My heart fluttered, and jumped.
You grabbed me by the hand, and pulled me deeper to swim. Deeper, deeper.
Then, we danced.
Danced in the ocean. Swaying in the current, and twirling me. We shared something that felt electric.
We just kept moving with the waters. Your fingers linked in mine. It just felt right.
Then there was a noise.
You turned your head up to the surface of the waters, and the sunlight glinted off of your bright eyes.
I looked up too, but saw nothing.
Then the noise. It called again.
I couldn’t hear what it was, but you heard it clearly.
Without hesitation, your hands slipped from mine and you started to swim back up.
I reached back out for your hand and grasped it, pulling you back.
You looked at me. No smile. No glare. Just a blank expression.
You shook free from my grasp and continued to swim. I tried to call out to you, but I gagged on the water.
I tried to follow you, but I couldn’t. I tried kicking and pushing but nothing worked. Something was holding me down in the water.
I kicked and screamed to you, but you didn’t hear me.
I kept swimming and pushing upward, but made it nowhere. You had just touched the surface, before I was dragged back down.
Something had a hold on me, and it was dragging me further and further down into the water. I cried and called out to you, over and over, but the saltwater filled my lungs.
I was running out of breath.
Running out of time.
It felt like there was a weight, pushing me deeper and deeper, drowning me.
Darkness overtook me, and I couldn’t fight the storm that raged in the water.
And I couldn’t stop the storm that raged inside me.
I just couldn’t swim anymore.
I let it pull me down deeper into the dark. I let myself sink, and the water took my voice away.
I kept trying to call out, but I couldn’t. My hair and dress floated through the water as I kept going deeper. My last bubbles of breath escaped, as I looked at the glimmer of the sunshine one last time.
Now here I lay at the ocean floor
where nothing happens
And darkness covers everything
I can’t see the light anymore
And I can’t breathe, but I’m still living.
I just exist.
I’m invisible, and nobody sees me through the dark of the sea.
Nobody can hear me, because I’m forever silent through the crashing of waves.
My voice is gone.
My hope.
My happiness.
I’m forever waiting until the day, when someone else just may take the jump
I take another small sip of coffee from the mug I have cupped in my hands, still continuing to read the thin lines of the open book that lies in front of me. The bitter, and dark liquid is almost perfect.
Still warm, but cooled. It’s soothing to the mouth.
The delicate pages of the book are yellowed and brittle, and the edges are rigged and torn from many years of age. Most of the small black letters printed across the pages have faded so much they are nearly invisible.
The click of the white ceramic mug back on the marble kitchen table is one of the few sounds that is keeping complete silence away. I hear my own breathe, and the low crackles and pops of the logs in the brick fireplace. It does fairly well in keeping the cottage warm and cozy during the winter days.
All is quiet and chilly, as I sit there with that mug of coffee, and that old brown book.
I pull the sleeves of my soft gray sweater over my wrists, and hold them cozily there with my fingers. I tuck my hands under my chin as I begin to read aloud to myself. My voice raspy from the frosty air of the morning, I read, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name…” I paused. “… you are mine.”
The beautiful words seemed to linger in the air as a soft and sweet aroma, that I could breathe over and over again. The words bring a sensation of comfort, that hangs as a blanket around my shoulders.
I brush my cold fingers over the words, trying to grip onto every letter as if I could pick them up, and lock them in my heart forever.
I continue reading aloud, in that still kitchen. Just my voice breaking the silence of the house, which normally brings a feeling of loneliness.
I’m once again reminded I’m not the only one in this rusty cottage, as an orange ball of fuzz walks underneath the table. Samuel’s faded orange fur, with streaks of white brushes against my legs, and his whiskers tickle my feet. I can’t help but giggle.
He looks up at me for just a second, and I gaze into his beautiful green, and brown speckled eyes. His eyes are like a pond in the summer, with the lilies floating atop the muddy water.
I smile softly at him, and reach down to pick him up. I cradle him in my arms and snuggle him close, with my nose in his fur. He purrs, and nuzzles his face in my sweater.
I close my eyes just for a second, and sit there.
I sit there with a mug of coffee, an orange cat, and that old brown book.
I open my eyes, and see him looking at me again. I have a feeling of happiness and warmth inside. I gently kiss him on the nose, with him still cradled in my arms.
I sit him on my right shoulder, and close the book still in front of me. I carefully pick it up not letting the few torn pages slip out, and walk over to the mysterious door across the room. The wooden door has scratches all over, and the brass knob has been worn over the years.
I sit the book down on the cabinet next to the door, that holds all of the glass bowls and plates, and variety of coffee mugs I managed to collect over a period of years.
I slide the metal key off the top of the cabinet and wiggle it into the brass lock until I hear the click of the latch.
It is a quite suspicious looking door, so it’s probably hard not to let your imagination run wild when there’s curiosity for what’s down there.
The door is always locked. Nobody but the cat and I have ever been down in that basement before, at least not since books were no longer wanted years ago, and I am unsure if they still exist on the face of the earth. Most books have been thrown away, just tossed into the trash. A lot of valuable things of the past have been thrown away.
Nobody wanted books, or even art anymore. Some people today blame you of being a liar or a fake for believing things written inside the pages of the beautiful things called books, or loving art. If the wrong person finds these things, they’ll destroy all you have. That’s why I won’t let anyone inside my house, let alone the basement.
I fear that they may burn everything I hold precious to me.
The lock clicks and turns, and I forcefully push open the door. I am immediately sense the sweet smell of paper. I feel for the switch along the wall with my free hand, and flip it. Everything came to life with one switch.
My pretty lights strung across the ceiling seem to burst with yellow joy as they come on. All the different colors I have painted on the walls, and beautiful drawings I have created are shown. I have my sack chair sitting towards the right in the middle of the room, and my favorite white wool rug on the floor.
A short coffee table sits in the center of the room, with a forgotten coffee mug from the previous night, and a still open book.
I have more smaller lights that twinkle, strung across the many shelves in the room. You wouldn’t expect it to be as big as it is inside of such a tiny home, but this room is my home.
All the shelves lined along the walls, and smaller shelves in the center of the room, all lined with pages filled with memories of the past.
A table in the left corner is stacked with books, that have yet to be alphabetized along the shelves.
I open the drawer to an identical cabinet as the one upstairs, and lay the old brown book inside.
I walk in the spaces between the shelves, filled with beautiful things. Some trinkets and small decorations would sit here and there among the books.
I smile as I pick up a small glass frog. It sits upright on its back legs, and it grasps a yellow flower in its small arms. Its eyes are glossed and shimmering, and its cheeks are a rosy red. Its smile has a look of shyness and peace. I look at it once more and put it back down on the shelf, and straighten it to where it first sat.
I walk into the middle of the room, the wooden floor creaking with every step.
The whole room smells like pure happiness. The aroma of aged paper mixes with the lingering smell of the pumpkin candle I lit last night.
I stand there, looking around the room.
I stand there with an orange cat on my shoulder, in a room bursting with books, light, and art, and creative things.
It just feels good.
Thanks for checking out my random writing spurt! I have just recently been feeling really creative with writing, and I couldn’t say my writings are the best ever, but I think I did pretty well with it haha!
Incase you were wondering, this short story line was supposed to be based off of what life would be like in a world full of hatred for books, or where books almost didn’t exist anywhere. Basically in a world where you have to hide art, and writings, and creativity.
This was a bit longer than I expected, but hopefully my writings intrigued you so maybe you possibly actually read it all the way through haha! (I feel like some of you authors out there may be hard core cringing right about now though. Are you?😂 )
I will most likely continue experimenting with my writing, and I would love to here if you have any suggestions or tips on becoming a better author!
Also this may or may not have been a schoolwork assignment for an essay I was writing that was only supposed to be 250-500 words and I may or may not have written almost 2,000 hehe…. so I figured hey why not make it into a post?
I’ll see ya super soon guys, it was really great getting to drop in for a bit! xD Have an amazing day loves, and keep smiling! ; )
I don’t yet know who I’m writing this to, but I know it’s somebody pretty amazing.
I often think about who you are. From the sound of your laugh, to the color of your eyes. I wonder about you. What’s your name? What’s your personality? Where are you and what are you doing at this very moment as I write this? I also wonder if you ever think about who I am? I really have so many thoughts and questions, but I know they won’t be answered until we meet. I truly do excitedly await the day that happens, but until then, I will peacefully and happily wait for you.
I am not ready for a relationship right now, and I won’t worry about it either, because God has promised you to me. God has promised us to eachother. I am not going to carry the burden of worrying about never finding you, and never finding love. God has destined for us to be together and designed us for eachother from the very beginning. And I don’t need to hopelessly search for love as if it hasn’t been with me my entire life! God has always loved me more than anything. He has held me in his hands and walked alongside me every day, and he holds my heart until the day comes when he gives it away to you. Even after that, God will still forever hold my heart and I trust him with all of this.
I will not go around searching through every guy I can to try and find you. Why? Because I don’t need to. God always makes a way and somehow, somewhere, someday, he will bring us to eachother. I don’t need to always have a boyfriend with me to be happy, which sadly so many women and girls today think is true. Until I truly find you; the one I’m meant to be with, I am going to stay young and free, living wildly, and happily. I don’t need a boyfriend with me to be happy every second. God always makes a way.
I am not just looking for a guy with a pretty face, because BOI that is not all it takes to win my heart. I don’t want that guy always showing out and begging for attention, or flirting clearly with all these other girls. I don’t want that guy who covers up his intelligence with fake stupidity just for attention. I want a guy full of love, light, and willingness to help. I want a guy who does kind things anonymously and expects nothing but joy in return. I want the guy who shows his smarts without “showing off”.
I don’t want someone who shows his love through money or expensive things. I want a guy who truly and genuinely shows that he loves me. I want somebody different. Unique. Someone special. I am waiting for someone that will dream with me, and hold my hand walking alongside me. Someone that will be a complete goofball, and laugh with me. Someone who loves, trusts, has faith in God and will pray with me. Someone that’ll go on adventures and try new things with me. Someone who will care for me, and truly love me for who I am. I am waiting for someone that will roll down the car windows and blast our favorite songs! I am waiting for you.
I am waiting for someone funny, intelligent, sweet, kind, strong, brave, and caring. (and maybe a little cute, idk. 😁) I am waiting for someone that will live free, and wild. I am waiting for someone that I will love so very deeply.
I want you to be the only one I’m ever in a relationship with, but no one can guarantee that’s how it’ll happen. And that’s okay. Every relationship is a learning experience, and God uses everything for the greater good in life.
I don’t know who you are, where you are at, or what you look like, but I know God is preparing us specially for eachother. The wait may be pretty hard sometimes, but it’s gonna be so worth it.
I cannot wait to share my life with you. To tell you stories, hold your hand, share our dreams, and do things we never imagined. Agh, I’m so excited and curious about you and the life ahead that it makes my heart ache. God is gonna do so many amazing things beyond our dreams, I imagine there’ll be lots of surprises along the way.
I wonder alot about you.
I wonder where and when we’ll just happen to stumble upon eachother and meet.
Again, I don’t know who you are, and I’m probably gonna have to wait awhile to figure that out, but I am so very excited. So while I wait, I am going to continue to grow in my faith and in discovering my identity and a beautiful young woman. I am going to always live the best life I can.
I am going to live joyfully, positively, kindly, faithfully, independently, lovingly, freely, goofily, memorably, courageously, and passionately. Because I want to be the best I can for you, God, my family, friends, and even myself. I know that you will be perfect for me, and just what I need.
Life is gonna hold some crazy things, but the thing is, God holds life. So hang on tight, and i’ll see ya real soon dude.
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